I sit in my living room, thinking of how marriage has become the most talk about thing in the 21st century. A day hardly goes by without getting call from friends who are worried because every person around them is about to tie the knot and they don’t even have anyone interested in them, let alone propose marriage. The irony of it all is that they do not even have a clue of what ‘Marriage’ is.
I smile now as I remembered an interesting call I got from my Aunt a week after my graduation two years ago. She called to ask about ‘Mr. Right’ I say ‘interesting’ because I know her to well to be a ‘strict, no nonsense person’ and it was quite shocking to hear her ask me that sort of question. I recall blushing with embarrassment at the thought of having such conversation with her.
I remember a period, precisely over 2 years now, around the ages of 20-21 when my friends and I did nothing but talk about what sorts of wedding we will love to have, colors of dresses and flowers, how many bridesmaids, the kind of music and how we were going to personalize our vows. Notice I said ‘wedding’. Thank God, for his mercies that we did not actualize our plans of getting married then, it would have been nothing less than disastrous. I thank God for all what I have learned and been exposed to under the singles ministry in my church. I cannot imagine being in a relationship or getting married without the vast knowledge, I have gained under this ministry.
What then is the problem? Most people only plan for that day, that precious moment when we they will say ‘I DO’ to that man/woman who by God’s grace will be the one destined for them. What about the institution itself? The one they call ‘MARRIAGE’. I asked a couple of people about why some think marriage is difficult most of them said “it is probably because it was entered into for the wrong motives i.e. pressures from families, friends and the society they live.”
This brings to remembrance a colleague of mine who is always nagging about how everyone around her is in a serious relationship, how so & so is getting married in December, how another one just gave a ring to his longtime girlfriend and how she would say yes to anyone or anything that asks her out next. Why would she say that? We need to change our mindset. I have seen people fall in and fall out of love. I have seen people rush in and rush out of relationships you will think they were been chased by hungry lions. I have seen young people getting pressurized into getting a future partner urgently as though the human specie is fast disappearing. I have seen people come out of relationships hurting, that they are determined that marriage is not an option for them.
There is nothing as beautiful as being in God’s perfect timing because ‘He has made everything beautiful in its time’ (Ecclesiastes 3v11). Notice, it says ‘He has made’ not ‘He is making’. God knows your future and he knows when to bring your partner in to fit the plan He has for your life therefore timing is very essential. The waiting stage is a preparation process where God Himself prepares both individuals. It is at this stage you need to study how to become a good wife, prepare to be like the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31:10-28, ask the Spirit to help you in the area of submission (Ephesians 5:22-24, Colossians 3:18), in quietness (1st Timothy 2:11), in oneness (Ephesians 5:31), in reverence (Ephesians 6:33b), the list is endless and if you are a man, you need to pray to God, to be able to love your wife as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25) love your wife as your own body (Ephesians 5:28).
Therefore, my dears do not fret! ‘Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God’. Refuse to give way to all forms of pressure and lay all your expectations concerning your spouse and marriage to your Heavenly Father.