It was just a little gathering!!


Sometimes, what we think are not important to seek God’s face are the most important especially regarding the issue of a life partner and how to conduct your relationship. From what I gathered over this holiday period, most people tend to think the issue of marriage is been over spiritualised and as long as boy & girl sense chemistry, they might as well start walking the aisle… Really what does God have to do with it? I understand some people tend to go overboard with the spiritual aspect but there is indeed a thin line. When you walk Him out of your plan, you are only working by yourself.

I was out of the country for almost a month and was happy to hang out with friends I had not seen for ages and meet new ones. I recall a particular evening when I had a couple of friends over at mine to catch up on old times. I have come to realise that whenever singles gather, be it in space or here on earth, you cannot but get into what I like to call ‘relationship talks’ and this little gathering of mine was no exception. I laugh all over again remembering the look of worry on my aunt’s face as she raced into the living room to see if everything was ok as vibrant singles were shouting on top of their lungs to get their opinion across to questions like “If sex is not allowed, how far can we go?” “Why can’t we kiss for more than a second?” “There are two guys in my life now; whom do I choose?” “I’m with a girl who I’d love to marry but our genotypes might be a barrier. Should I go or stay?” “How do I know if he/she is the right one?  Oh my days! When my opinion was asked, I simply answered with a question – What is God saying? 

 Comments like “please we are talking reality here.” “How can you determine when God speaks and your flesh?” “What if he/she is out of God’s will?” “Please do not spiritualise this thing!” Came flying through the air. Whilst even trying to prove his point on why you don’t necessarily have to seek God’s face, one of them said to me that the bible says “…and they will become one flesh” and not one spirit.” Indulge me whilst I take you back to the creation story and how the concept of marriage originated. We must be careful not to take scriptures out of context.

1.     It was God who said, “It is not good for man to be alone.” Adam had no idea he needed a wife. It was God’s decision.

2.     God put Adam to sleep and formed Eve out of his ribs. He knew the sort of woman Adam needed to fulfil his purpose.

3.     God put Eve in Adam’s path. The bible records that “He had taken her out of the man and He brought her to the man.” Emphasis on brought! (NIV)

4.     God made it clear on how a man and his wife should relate to one another. “…A man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”  Some might say, well that is the Old Testament; we are living in the New Testament days. May I burst your bubble by letting you know that Jesus Christ consistently referred to the Father’s original plan for marriage? Matthew 19:4-8. How can you then conclude God has nothing to do with it? From all indications, He does. How can you leave God out of the second most important decision you will make in life? For wondering minds, the first is accepting Christ. 

Going back to the story of my little gathering – one of my friends who had not been able to get a word in finally had a chance to speak. “And how do you know if he/she is the right one?” She said putting on a full sister-girl attitude, hand on hip, neck stiff and jaw straightened out in annoyance of not been able to decide which of the guy in her life needs to hit the freeway. “… Those who are led by the Spirit of God are the sons of God.” Romans 8:14. The Holy Spirit knows whom God has appointed as your mate and will lead you to that person if you let Him. I say If because sincerely, anyone can marry anybody. I am now talking to those who want to be married to the right person “God’s chosen best for you.” He promises in Isaiah 30:21, “Whenever you turn to the left or the right, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, ‘This is the way, walk ye in it.”

First, you have to commit your ways to Him and secondly, you have to be sensitive to His leading.  Most people have been praying and fasting earnestly for a partner and do not know when their blessing comes even if it hits them on the face with a stupid stick. Be sensitive! There is no time like the present to get it right.  That is a word for somebody!

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8 Responses to It was just a little gathering!!

  1. Andy says:

    Hi Deola, yeah! Good post, and I believe it is so important making God the bedrock of any relationship. However, the devil knows how much the “issue” of relationship means to us all so he makes it a major target of his fiery darts.
    By the way, I have been a part of many youth gatherings where relationships do not get discussed, instead we spend our time chatting on more intellectual!!!!!

  2. Adeola Adelekun says:

    Its ok Andy….i promise not to let anyone know how you are always one of the first people to bring up ‘relationship talks’ in any of our gatherings. 🙂
    Why Andy? you are trying to hide your true identity uhn! dont worry, i’ll keep that from the public Folusho (oops! it slipped)….:)

  3. Mayokun says:

    Bless you… for the uncommon inspiration….

  4. Akin.A says:

    Hello Deola,

    God is very important in all our decisions. To my surprises, I think singles, especially sisters as we call it in our gathering ( church) are not always open about theirs relationships. Is there anyreason for this?.

    Please heeeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllllllllllppppppppppppppppppp. ( bbbbllllllooooogggggs)

  5. Thanks for stopping by Uncle Akin! There can be many reasons for this:
    1) It might be because its relatively a new relationship.
    2) Some just like keeping thier relationship on the down low because they dont want people getting into thier business. I see nothing wrong in this but atleast make sure you submit the relationship to your pastors since they are your spiritual heads they will know how to advice you on what & what not.
    3) It can also be because, the guy tells them not to say anything to anyone. Sometimes, the guy’s motive is good but most of the time, its either because the guy is playing around and he doesnt want the girl to ruin his game.
    I hope this helps 🙂

  6. Wale Rominiyi says:

    Hey Adeola,

    First off i gotta say an awesome website and a doubley awesome post, all of whose points raised i completely agree with. You even managed to include my all time favourite scripture in Isaiah 30:21… lol.

    I was a little concerned with where you ended the post though as i’ve gathered (from my little experience in singles forums & gatherings) that many young singles nowadays start getting intimidated when we talk about, “being led by the Spirit of God” and “being sensitive to the Holy Spirit”. Many who have had little or no experience of walking with the Holy Spirit in their lives feel that there is a great chasm between where they currently stand in their relationship with God and the stage where they will be able to say with conviction that they actually hear God speaking to them.

    My question really is in that i’d like you to expansiate on the, “being sensitive” point you made and really break down what is meant by this… I love to hear your thoughts and maybe some of your own personal experiences?


  7. Seun says:


    I didn’t know you wrote like this, i like this article and i agree with you. if there is something you really need God for, ( we need him for everything, of course) it is in choosing a partner. Well put girl.

  8. Thank you Seun, longest time, how is notts?
    Hello Wale, thanks for stopping by. Its very long but I’ll try and break it down

    1)People think they have to get to a certain stage of thier walk with God before they start hearing from God. However, from my own expereince, i started hearing God speak when I initially became born again, infact i used to hear God a lot then…lol! not that i dont hear now. The thing is God can talk to anyone at any stage of thier life – God spoke to Moses after he murdered an egyptian (Exodus 2-3)

    2)When I say “sensitive”, we have to understand the way God speaks to us. Most people imagine that when God speaks, its like a big boom voice but its actually a small still voice in your spirit. That is why one has to learn to differentiate the spirit from the mind because the mind talks as well. When God speaks, he speaks to our spirit – that is why we must develop our inner man. 1 Corinthians 2:14-16 says – But the natural man does not receive the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; nor can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.

    3) You said and i quote – “Many who have had little or no experience of walking with the Holy Spirit in their lives feel that there is a great chasm between where they currently stand in their relationship with God and the stage where they will be able to say with conviction that they actually hear God speaking to them” – When God speaks to you, there is a conviction in your heart and I have come to a stage in my life when i know God is speaking to me but for others, who might not be there yet, what I’ll say is God’s voice does not contradict HIS written word. If you are hearing anything that contradicts to the word of God – then I really doubt is God speaking 🙂

    I will like to add that, we have become so intellect that even when God speak at times, it is difficult to follow HIS leading because we know too much. Meanwhile, what we think is wisdom is foolishness to God. The question really is – if you hear God will you do what He asks you to do because most of the time, HIS will is contrary to ours AND that is why I like the Holyspirit – He is a gentleman, He does not force HIS way – Once He has said what He wants to say – It’s up to you to decide whether to obey or not.

    Hope it helps wale.

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