Why singles are staying single II

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This is the continuation from The Unspoken Truth Series – Why singles are staying single I. You will need to read the first part to fully understand what you are about to read…Enjoy!

 I still had about 30 mins left, it had turned to the battle of the sexes…AO managed to speak inspite of the opposition he was getting from YO, who thought the guys were equally worse than the girls in the area of expectations. AO continued, “Listen, wait! What do you expect a guy to do when everything you girls talk about is vision, vision…For example, a guy can be serious about getting into a relationship and probably haven’t identified his vision yet, that should not disqualify him. And maybe part of the reason why these guys (he said ‘these guys’ because he is already in a relationship, so as far as he is concerned, he is out of the single’s market) are afraid to approach a lady is probably because they are frightened of the unrealistic questions they may have to endure just in the process of trying to get to know a babe….” BN and I just had to laugh at this point…you should have seen the look on AO’s face; it was obvious he was passionate about what he was saying… 

YO just had to interrupt, “But…” AO in his usual manner was not going to back down until he had finished making his point, ignoring YO, he continued “Can you imagine? Just trying to get to know you and already asking about my vision. You don’t even know what my intentions are yet.” AO said with disgust. This was my cue, I just had to agree with the guys at this point “I understand where you are coming from AO, some ladies have just gotten this whole vision thing upside down to the extent that it has become part of their requirements even before knowing who the person really is…I wonder, what ever happened to love? No one speaks about that anymore. I can’t remember the last time I heard that word.” Everyone nodded as a seal of approval to what I had just said. “Misplaced priorities” BN added 

“Can I talk now?” YO was asking…I checked my time, still had about 20 minutes left…”My point is, the reason why singles are not hooking up is because the men are looking for finished product, you don’t want to work for anything. Once you start liking a girl and maybe she does something wrong to offend you or messes up once or twice, you immediately give up and conclude she is not your type…” Words were about to fly from everyone’s mouth, because YO just made a valid point, it was obvious AO wanted to argue against…YO, wasn’t going to allow him until she was rest assured her point had been made, “Wait, wait! Let me finish talking, I don’t want anyone to cut me off…”“How I wish RM, KL & CH were around.” I whispered to AK excitedly. RM had travelled out of the country, KL and CH could not make CARE that night because they had other things to do. Trust me, if those guys had been there…we would have all gone home without our voices – they could argue till kingdom come and whatever you do, you really don’t want RM and AO in the same room.  

I had gone to pick up my phone at this point and missed out on what YO was saying, I really wanted to give my opinion on what she said earlier but AK was the one talking when I walked in. He was saying, “Some girls are just to materialistic…its as though they have a check list and once the guy does not meet their requirement he is disqualified. For some babes, you have to be driving a car and not just any car; you have to be working in one big company…” I immediately cut in, “I still want to believe girls like that don’t exist. I mean, what is the point of all that? So what happens if God forbid, the guy loses his job or breaks his leg and can’t drive anymore…” BN and YO chuckled…I continued, “But it’s true now…I think that is so petty.” AK continued, “That is why you see some guys working endlessly so they can at least gather all – like buy a house, get a car, get a good job e.t.c before they can have the liver to approach a 21st century babe.

I replied, “I think that is stupid though – don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with doing well for yourself but when that becomes top priority of what you are looking for in a spouse…then, I really don’t know what to say…as for the guys that are trying to gather all before they can approach a lady – how can they tell if the lady sincerely loves them then? More so, the bible says, “He that finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord.” I had to explain further, I am already a wife, a guy putting a ring on my finger does not make me a wife…if it were so, the bible would have said, “He that finds a woman” but it says, “He that finds a wife…” and for some guys, it is until they have found that wife that they will start receiving that favour or like AK put it, they will start gathering all. Because that good ‘thing’ will stand in prayers for her man. Anyway, that’s for another day… 

“Guys I so agree to what Minister F said on Saturday.” YO said….”Yes, he was so right” I replied, “He was on point, he hit the hammer on it” BN added. AO seemed lost, “What did he say?” he asked. I checked my time…still had about 5 minutes to spare, I decided to let AO in on the gist…. 

To be continued…..

Feel free to leave your questions/comments

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2 Responses to Why singles are staying single II

  1. Ebunoluwa says:

    I feel like I’m reading a novel…this is really interesting stuff…..keep writing and I’ll keep reading!!!!

  2. Y K says:

    Deola,

    As usual, no comment is left out of your stories! You know I will still have a thing or two to say:

    1. I agree with BN – Our (guys) games are not tight! We’ve lost the killer instincts. We’ve gone too cold!! Too scared to put our games and reps on the line! Too timid to toast and we find ourselves queuing up for the same Certified babe! when the list of babes is endless..c’mon guys, let’s be real men!

    2. As for Babes, there are not many true wives in church these days. A lot of babes (in my little experience) don’t know what it takes to win a guy’s heart! I tell you, that’s where the challenge lies for the sisters. Some are fortunate to have suitors but just take the opportunities for granted! They seem to think they’ve got nothing to do but just sit tight and prince charming will just turn up and sweep them off their feet….girlfriend, if you want something good, you’ve got to get up from your backside, pray and let the spirit teach you how to receive a brother! Ladies need to learn to respect the brothers (Sounds so old school but I don’t think there’s a true xtain brother out there who will not consider a lady that truly respects him – now talk about Strategic positioning). I recently almost fell prey to that till God nudged me to back off that the sister wasn’t mine….

    3. Vision, vision, vision….it stinks! I say again, it stinks! AO read my mind, I think the xtain of today needs to be tactful in digesting the messages from the pulpit. No disrespect to anyone but I think a lot of people just listen an obey like robots and don’t bother to check with God how it applies to their individual lives and realities. The word echoing in my mind right now is “FAITH”, many guys and girls these days want to see the TANGIBLE goods before considering a suitor, particularly the ladies….. I tell you its so annoying, reminds me of UNI days! the common line – “What do you drive? Its now repackaged to “What’s your vision”……don’t get me started on this vision issue!

    4. OK don’t want to sound like a chauvinist so I’ll diss my brothers again…you don’t need a job, car or business to step up! We need our positions as leaders of the pack back. I know today’s society has empowered the women (its a good thing) but if you are sure of who you are in Christ, no woman, I repeat, no woman will intimidate you. Also, we guys need to compliment the ladies, not put them down. There are a lot of insecure ladies out there so we have to be mindful of that….take care of them, affirm them, be there for them..remember, its a curse from God to women that says: “A woman’s desire will be for her husband” So hold on tight to this…every good woman desires a good man so no matter how TOUGH she claims to be, there’s still that desire inside of her, so GO and break that barrier covering the jewel in her!

    Finally, I’ll be fake if I said I wasn’t guilty of some, if not all of the above but after all said, there’s only 1 question I have that is yet to be answered:

    “Why are there better behaved ladies in town than in church???!

    I rest my case!

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