@Favoured Girl, I replied to your comment last week and told you to watch out for this article – Here it goes!
It is a proven fact that the clubs are now empty and the pews are overflowing. I have heard it said times without number “Why pay £10-£15 to get into a club to meet girls, when you can see them in church free.” I don’t know about you, but this shows a great cause for alarm. Most of the times, ladies can’t tell the difference between a sheep and a wolf– Ouch! I can feel myself stepping on some toes here but hey! I am just saying it as it is. We allow ourselves to get intoxicated with all the smooth raps and lyrics loaded with promises of endless possibilities. Wake up and smell the coffee please! It seems as though the minute we get saved – In comes the Holy Spirit and poof! out goes our sense of reasoning.
It should not be that way, infact we should be wiser. The heart is very fragile and should be guarded jealously because out of it comes the issues of life. Unfortunately, there are so many broken hearted ladies out there and in the church because they have entrusted others with the job of taking care it. Now, let’s go through some steps, which will help keep your heart from shattering every now and then. That is if you follow them of course, so please stay with me.
Perception: Remember in the book of Numbers when the Lord told Moses to send some Israelites men to explore the land of Canaan, which He wanted to give them. They came back and said “We went to the land to which you sent us and, oh! It does flow with milk and honey! Just look at this fruit! The only thing is that the people who live there are fierce, their cities are huge and well fortified. We cannot attack those people; they are much stronger than we are. Alongside them, we felt like grasshoppers. And they looked down on us as if we were grasshoppers.”
Guarding your heart is all about perception! Ladies, this is very important, if this is all you read. Read it and read it well. How do you see yourself? If you were to place a value on your self, how much will you set as the price? How much is your heart worth to you anyway? Do you see yourself as a grasshopper? Because from the above reading, it is quite evident that people will only see you the way you see yourself. Girlfriend, you are a priceless jewel so get yourself off the discount shelf please!
Emotional Ties/Friendlationship: There are so many ladies in undefined relationship with men. They have a name for it now; ‘friendlationship’ – Friendship with benefits of a relationship. Being in this spot can be detrimental to a woman’s self-image especially when it has been going on for a long time. Undefined relationship eventually ends up with one person tied emotionally to the other.
There is the tendency to believe that intimacy comes after sex, I beg to differ on this notion. Real intimacy starts when you start sharing deep personal stuff with someone. In chronic cases of friendlationship – people assume they are dating or probably on the way to the altar but the guy aint saying nada! In addition, when the lady asks, “So what’s up between us?” He mutters something of this sort “Well, what do you think?” All his words are indicating something is up but his actions are saying otherwise.
If you have to do guesswork in your relationship, you are on the wrong ship. Assumptions always look like the truth and most of the time, not the truth. No woman should go through the stress of having to guess where she stands in a relationship. No chemistry in the world is worth that trouble. None!
Someone called B left this comment on the site last week – “We also have the category of the Christian brothers (a really worrying one) that have gotten very comfortable with being fine, cool, single and surrounded by girls. These guys become serial friends, make friends with many girls, and yet will not date any. May be, they get emotional thrills from many girls fancying them and telling them about how cool they are – I do not know.”
My dears, you do not want to be one of the ladies in the position B described. If the guy is not ready for prime time television, you take a stand and let him take a walk. The flip side of this – you are setting yourself up for a major heartbreak – Watch out for an article called “I need a man that can handle my favor”. Girlfriends, you are all that and a bag of chips – Let no one tell you any different. Guard your heart!